WTF is a Hipster?!?!

This was supposed to help me understand. (it did not really work)

My depiction of a hipster.

Just to start out Hipsters confuse the hell out of me. Talking to my friends about what makes a hipster it seems no one actually seems to know. All accounts of run ins with hipsters are different. There are a few key similarities but for the most part no one seems to be able to give me a finite definition of a hipster. Large black rim glasses seem to be the one staple. Scarfs seem to be another hipster theme along with flannel lumberjack shirts and weird hair styles. Some other notable attributes are their elitist attitude extreme high top or low top shoes and strategically torn jeans. Other than these few clothing details hipsters are a mystery. I once had a conversation that began with the thought that they were derived from beatniks. I respectfully refuse to believe this idea, I feel that hipsters are not new wave beatniks but instead pushed actual beatniks underground. Beatniks are alive just pushed into the sewers of the artistic word like the teenage mutant ninja turtles only to be forgotten about and upstaged by the hipsters. According to the chart above hipsters have been along time coming but I don't recall half of these steps, we have been blindsided by the sheen of the new age vegan world of art seeking hipster parasite. I remember some of these trends but they seemed more like the slow disappearance of 90s grunge culture. Needless to say I will be looking more into this out of the blue phenomenon of snobby art museum weirdly dressed culture, trying to figure out how this plague happened and what the hipsters criptonite is.